Weakness overcomes me when I hear his voice. On a daily basis, flippies fill my tummy the second I begin to think about him and it take hours for them to go away. My entire body shakes when I know I’m about to see him. An uncontrollable smile overtakes my face the instant he walks through that door and only gets bigger as he makes his way over to me. Glasses off...on my tippie toes...biting my bottom lip...I throw my arms around his neck and he kisses me with so much passion as he lifts me off the ground a bit. Everyone else disappears when he’s near me and it becomes all about us alone. Not exactly sure how he does it, but the entire world becomes non-existent the second his skin touches mine. To feel like a kid again…EVERY time I’m in his presence. His jokes crack me up. His laughter fuels mine. His tenderness melts me into a pot of mush and I know it is impossible for me to recuperate. His roughness works me up inside and I just want to scream…but I never do because he is far too precious for any of that nonsense. He’s demanding and even more giving…never overpowering or demeaning. This is one grip that I don’t EVER want out of!!
One day…one day we will share in the gift of each other’s full grasp. One day I know I will find myself in awe of his complete love. For now I find myself in awe of that thought. My body goes weak and I become speechless when I think of making love to my best friend!! Having never been with each other completely has its ups and downs. Mostly I’m just ancy to know the feeling of our bodies becoming one with each other. I struggle to find the right words to express the feeling I have inside when thoughts of wrapping myself up in him run through my mind, but it goes something like this…my lower abdomen literally jumps up and down, spins around, and trembles to a point of being uncontrollable. My tummy tingles and won’t stop…no matter how hard I try. I can’t breathe and my heart races to a point that it almost scares me. Why…how??
I never knew this was possible for anyone…let alone for myself. This is an unspoken power that he never told me he had. It wouldn’t have kept me away from him even if he had told me. I just wish I would have had some sort of advance notice that I would lose myself completely in the love of such an incredible man. I have no control over what happens to me when I’m in his presence, or when I read a letter from him, or when I hear his voice, or even when I think about him. So…I have pretty much have no control over myself all day, every day.
Images run through my mind of our life together when he comes home. He holds my hand and kisses my forehead as I give birth to our babies. Seeing our tiny creations engulfed by his giant arms while he smiles from ear to ear, makes me cry tears of joy. He has a new weakness…our little runts. It’s so nice to see this side of him. His tenderness surrounds me every day, but now I get to see his softness with the beginning of the rest of our lives. He doesn’t realize the look that is on his face when children are around him…he smiles so big and has no clue he’s doing it. That is precious to me!!
I’m in love with my very best friend!! I’m the luckiest woman in the entire universe!!
